Category Archives: Uncategorized

Street trees

I live in one of those neighborhoods where the streets are planted with ornamental pear trees. As my SO noted last week, now is the only time of year when that makes any kind of sense: they are all in bloom at once, and the streets look as though they are lined with giant sticks of white cotton candy. It’s magical, almost surreal. I took a walk after dark this evening and was enchanted as I stood beneath one of those trees and looked up through the blossoms at a nearby street light.

Once the blossoms are done, the glossy, dark green leaves and upright habit of the pear trees are handsome, but the massed effect is monotonous. Although they turn vivid shades of red in the fall, they then drop millions of tiny not-quite-pears on the sidewalks. The decaying fruits gum up the treads of sneakers and bicycles and attract thousands of migratory birds, who in turn wreak havoc on parked cars and drop pear seeds everywhere.

While driving home this afternoon, I took a shortcut through a neighborhood whose street tree regulations do not call for such monocultural uniformity. Among the occasional blooming ornamental pears, I saw what appeared to be a cloud of pink smoke a block or so up the street. As I got closer I realized that this effect was produced by several redbud trees planted next to one another along the street. The trees were in bloom, and their tiny magenta blossoms, spread all along their dark branches, produced a translucent pink haze. The result was subtle, surprising, and utterly delightful.

In the wake of a recent outbreak of fire blight, our homeowners’ association revised the street tree regulations to permit a little more variety in our neighborhood. The redbud isn’t on the new list, but maybe I can take some street tree committee members for a drive and let the redbuds make a case for themselves.

To be a blessing

This morning I heard someone say something that struck me as extraordinary: “If I make good choices, I can be a blessing to those around me, even to people I don’t know.” I happened to be in a church and the person who said this was giving the sermon, which made it even more unusual in my experience.

I can’t recall having heard anyone, least of all a religious person, name being a blessing to others as a reason for making good choices. Parents, teachers, and advisors often recommend good choices as a way to avoid unpleasant consequences. In religious circles, however, the most common rationale for choosing good is to garner divine favor: make good choices so that God will bless you. Such a quid pro quo arrangement has broad appeal because it is a familiar way of doing business for most people. After all, it is far more comfortable to approach the Almighty with a business proposition than to approach as a supplicant, which are the two positions most readily assumed when dealing with someone in power.

The speaker’s observation doesn’t take any of these tacks. The point of his sermon, in fact, was that weal and woe befall do-gooders and evil-doers alike; therefore, choosing good is neither insurance against misfortune nor assurance of good fortune. What reason is there then to make good choices? Why should we care how we choose, since we can’t guarantee anything for ourselves thereby?

The fact remains that our decisions affect others, directly and indirectly, those around us and those we don’t even see. Our choices do make a difference, even if they don’t make the difference we’d like them to make. We can still choose good in hopes that our choices may prove to be a blessing to others.

That’s an argument that even an atheist would find compelling.

The more elusive satisfaction of writing

“I asked myself how to weigh the easy pleasure of gardening against the more elusive satisfaction of writing. And how to compare the private playfulness of growing flowers with the public experience of being published.” — Laurie Lisle, Four Tenths of an Acre

Yesterday I ruminated about the external nature of gardening and the internal nature of writing. Ms. Lisle is right, however, that gardening is a private pursuit in that one grows flowers, vegetables, herbs, and so on for one’s own pleasure, whereas publication has the word “public” as its root: the whole point is to get your work to as many people as might find it interesting or useful. How neatly paradoxical!

Ms. Lisle also describes the pleasure of gardening as easy and the satisfaction of writing as elusive. This must be in some measure due to the fact that success in gardening does not depend on others while success in writing is completely dependent on others. There is no audience in gardening, no market on whose vicissitudes one’s success hinges. There are most certainly forces beyond the gardener’s control that affect success — weather, pests, etc. — but plants have their own innate motivation and urge to succeed. The gardener merely needs to clear the way, so to speak.

One’s writing has no such inborn drive to succeed. In fact, more writing has died without ever seeing the light of day than has been published — talk about survival of the fittest! In this case, however, it is not necessarily the fittest work that survives as much as that which is championed by the most persistent or creative or fortunate advocate, be it author, editor, or agent. Wouldn’t it be lovely if a writer only had to clear the way!

Maybe the satisfaction of writing will prove to be less elusive in the digital world. E-books, blogs, e-zines, and web sites make it much easier for writers to get their work before an audience. I don’t know if it will ever catch up with gardening, but I think writing in this century will be a much more rewarding activity than it was by the end of the previous century.

The gardener who writes

“That afternoon I was struck by how much more gratifying gardening was than writing.” — Laurie Lisle, Four Tenths of an Acre

There are lots of reasons why this should be so, some quite obvious and others quite subtle. Gardening is an external, largely physical activity; writing is an internal, largely cerebral activity. One might be tempted to say that gardening is more satisfying because it yields more immediately visible results, yet writing very visibly transforms the blank page, filling it with form and content and meaning. Comparing the two is, in some sense, comparing apples to oranges; the alignment of their similarities and dissimilarities is too complex and nuanced to permit a straightforward analysis.

Maybe the answer lies not in the relative merits of these exercises but in their place on the evolutionary timeline of human behavior. Using the broader meaning of the terms, gardening clearly developed much earlier than writing and was practiced more widely throughout a greater portion of human history. It makes sense that the activities of gardening might be connected to more ancient areas of our brain, areas that are tied more closely to primitive motives of survival and pleasure than the language processing regions of the brain, which are relative newcomers on the developmental scene.

I suppose the real wonder is that any of us find the will to leave off gardening for anything other than eating or making love.

The writer’s dilemma

In a report on NPR’s All Things Considered yesterday, fantasy writer Naomi Novik said something that really got my attention: “The biggest danger to most authors, to most storytellers, is not that somebody is going to steal your work and pass it along — it is that nobody is ever going to see your work.”

The quote, part of a story on anti-piracy technology in e-books, perfectly captures the conflict that writers (and most other artists) face, a dynamic tension that can leave the cautious nearly paralyzed. If I put my work out into the public arena, will something happen to it, or to me? If I don’t put my work out there, what’s the point? This is especially painful if one dreams of making some kind of living from one’s work; the old saw, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” comes unhelpfully to mind.

I know a writer who has been shopping a science fiction novella around for a couple of years. He’s gotten a nibble or two, but no solid bites. Because his story has been making the rounds, he is concerned that someone might lift his idea, which is admittedly pretty original, and beat him to the publishing punch. This concern has grown to such a degree that he decided to publish the story himself rather than risk having it languish in some editorial slush pile. All in all, this is a pretty good choice because it allows him to avoid both of the dangers Ms. Novik points out: his work will not get stolen, nor will it go unread.

Maybe there’s hope for us writers after all.

Unsettling trends

This past week I found out that one of my friends is getting divorced and another is expecting another baby. Among the people I know, that makes four divorces in less than two years and at least six new babies (I’ve lost track — it seems that every time I turn around someone else is pregnant). When I shared these bits of news with my SO, he first responded with sorrow and wry surprise, respectively, then grew thoughtful.

“That’s scary,” he finally said.

“What’s scary?” I asked.

“All of it,” he replied. I nodded, aware that fear lay coiled, dormant and unvoiced, in the back of my mind: Could it happen to us? Could we be standing at the edge of a precipice and not even know it?

What seems sudden and unexpected to onlookers, however, may not be so surprising to participants, especially where a dissolving marriage is concerned. All four of those marriages showed some signs of stress, but what marriage doesn’t? Only the individual partners knew the toll that stress took on them; to the rest of us — maybe even to one another — it looked as though they were coping as best they could. Surely they had some sense that they were nearing the end of their resources, even if they didn’t let on to those around them.

But what if they didn’t? What if they simply found themselves one day on the wrong side of an invisible boundary, beyond which there was no hope of returning? Perhaps it is only in retrospect that anyone can point to a moment, a choice, an event and say, “There’s the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Thus the unvoiced fear moves in its sleep, mumbling incoherent anxieties.

Restless reader

I am a compulsive and restless reader. At any one time, I’m in the midst of a novel and at least two non-fiction books plus a number of periodicals. I keep lighter reading magazines in the bathroom at all times and cart the more cerebral journals and reviews around with me, just in case I’m stuck in traffic or stop for a cup of tea somewhere. I have a stack of books next to my chair in the living room, a stack of books on the shelf next to my bed, and two shelves of “new arrivals” in the study.

In theory, once I finish reading something it can go on the appropriate bookshelf in the study. The only hitch is if I want to take notes from the book before I shelve it, in which case it sits around, little Post-It flags sticking out the side, until I get around to the task. In an ideal world, I would sit down right away — possibly even as I read — and write out the notes while they are still fresh in my mind. With the current time lag, I sometimes look at a flagged page and have no earthly idea what I wanted to glean from it. Fortunately I’m not one to lay awake at night until I figure it out; experience has taught me that anything I have to work that hard to remember is never worth it. Thank goodness I’m fairly good at letting things go.

Sometimes I worry I’m a little too good at it.

Not so daily

I named this daily with every intention of posting to it on a daily basis, but that has proven to be more of a challenge than anticipated. In part, I haven’t been diligent enough about setting aside the time early enough in the day; I often find myself writing late at night after everyone is in bed, working against a midnight deadline but needing to decompress before I can be coherent. Another factor is my fear that what I write will be boring or irrelevant, coupled with my insistence that my writing be of a certain quality. While it’s good to hold myself to those standards, it’s not good to allow those standards to be an impediment.

So I’m turning the pile. I’ll begin writing at the first opportunity rather than leaving it for the dregs of the day. I’ll be a little less exacting and a little more willing to appear foolish or irrelevant or boring, trusting that the composite result will be of high quality even if individual morsels aren’t. After all, I did choose compost as my model, and heaven knows that compost starts out as a mess. I need to put my biodegradable refuse where my mouth is.

Happy Midspring!

Today is the March equinox, to use the globally correct term. The terms vernal or spring equinox are accurate only in reference to the northern hemisphere, whereas the equinox is a global phenomenon. According to some, this marks the beginning of spring in the northern hemisphere, but my own sense of the day has always been that it marks the midpoint of the season and that the cross quarter day (Groundhog’s Day/Candlemas/Imbolc) marks the beginning of the season. This impression has been strengthened mightily by my relocation to a slightly lower latitude, where early spring bulbs can often be found blooming before the end of February. Even this year, when we had a longer, harsher winter than of late, spring is decidedly in full swing now and well beyond the starting point.

So happy equinox day, and happy spring!

Gardening is a form of insanity

I’m wondering whether I should have named this blog “The Lunatic Gardener” because now that spring is here with a vengeance, all I want to write about is gardening. Of course, all I really want to DO is garden, but writing/talking/thinking/reading about gardening will do in a pinch.

I spent a couple hours this afternoon planting bulbs. I didn’t get all the bulbs I overbought in the fall planted before an unexpectedly normal winter set in, causing the ground to freeze when it should rather than never, as has been the case in recent years. I tucked the poor things away in a cold, dark corner of the garage to await an auspicious alignment of weather, soil conditions, and free time. Today was that magical day, though I still didn’t get them all in the ground. I have determined to pot up the remainder and let them do their thing, then dump the pots in the fall and plant the bulbs in the ground where they belong. I may even give some of the pots away as gifts once the plants are up and ready to bloom, with an offer to come plant the bulbs — in the ground — when they are done.

It feels so good to have a plan for the little darlings! Now I can sleep at night.